Self-Evaluation

I was asked this week to evaluate myself on my speech that was performed last week. I, unfortunately, did not present my speech. Not only was I not comfortable or confident, I was completely unprepared to give the speech, my demonstration things were unavailable for me after work and I did not have the confidence to get up in front of the audience and perform. In a previous post, I wrote about what scares me the most about speaking in public. It was the fear of failure. In my fear of presenting I actually made a worse fear come true. I have failed on a speech by not doing it, by not trying. I had done a fair amount of research for the speech, completed my outline and turned it in. I do believe that my outline achieved the purpose of my speech. It showed this history of my topic as well as part of the demonstration and also my experience with the topic. Reading it should have given the reader a sense of what the speech would bring. I feel as if I gave up, not a feeling I'm liking. Hybrid classes for me have not been incredibly successful and this one seems to be no different. When left to my own devices, it is hard to find the motivation to work. In the future, and the future also means right now, I plan to work a whole lot harder to get a good grade on the next speech.  I am planning on being more organized in content to better deliver my points. To read and research, make the note cards, making sure to do the breathing exercises, be completely prepared for the next speech. I want to better research my topic so that I am more familiar with it to be able to confidently deliver the information. I want it to sound like I am speaking to a friend so that I may have good eye contact with the audience. From the first speech, when I get nervous, I pace back and forth. I think it may be to try to distract the audience from what I am saying. Confidence should help, I hope. There were three mentioned sources in my outline, which is what was required of me. Although overcoming performance anxiety is going to continue to be a challenge for me, I feel that that is what college is all about. To learn and grow as a person while on the way to a degree. The feeling of failure is waning now, to be replaced by a sense of wanting. Wanting to be better, wanting to pass, wanting to feel that I have accomplished the goal. By not presenting, I know I have dropped at least a letter grade. I'm hoping to be able to get the B in Comm 1 that may still be available to me. It would mean putting in a ton of effort, a task that I am willing to take on. As I sit here typing, I am thinking about the next speech. I am determined to make it better than the last one. Bring on the challenge!